First Blog

Friday 10-31-08

Yes, I have nothing better to do than hang out on the internet on Halloween night. No, I am kidding. My sister-n-law just left with her girls to go trick or treating. I got to help get them ready. They are so cute in their Pirate and Bat costumes. I am supposed to be working on my third and last project for my Intro to Grad. Studies class. I have gotten some work done on it, and I have found a journal to send my second project to. After I post this here, I will go back to working on those projects.

I have been thinking a lot about my first post, and I think I know why I am so overly sensitive about the whole proofreading, in informal situations, issues. I think, I am being this way because I have two people in my life, which I love dearly, but who are constantly being this way towards everyone I know. One of them is a male and the other a female, and to avoid using their names I am going to call them as such.

The male can be condescending towards complete strangers, at times. Some of this is his lack of social skills. He is an only child and, because his cousins lived so far away, he was an only grandchild. He did attend public school, but he was so much more intelligent than his other classmates that, in some ways, I think that made him a little more antisocial than most people. I am not positive on this last part, except the being more intelligent than others part, because I did not go to school with him. I am just going by his attitude now, and he acts, not really on purpose, like he is better than those around him. In a lot of ways, he is. Anyone with a genius IQ, kind of, has the right to think that. He is not genius as in Leonard and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory are geniuses, but he is damn near it, uncomfortably close to it. Because he is this way, he tends to forgets others are human, that we mess up, that we misspell words, we don’t proofread everything we write, we don’t know everything about everything, the way he nearly does.

The female does not have these credentials, though she is highly intelligent. She could have been more if she had applied herself. Her biggest thing is that she love words, she is nearly a walking dictionary. She can spell and define words that I have never even heard of. She is the only person I know that has more than five copies of the dictionary and has read them all. I am not saying that is a bad thing, but the average person probably has not done this.

Back to my point, I think I know why I am overly sensitive. It is because she does not have a degree, because she hasn’t really done much with her life. The same goes for him. He has had his degree, now, for nearly three years and he hasn’t done anything with it. He hasn’t been able to get a job, for whatever reason, and has not gone to grad school. I know I am being petty, but I don’t feel that they have the right to criticize me in any way. I can take it from people who I know are above me, but not from those who are no better than me.

For a lot of reasons I will not mention here I do not think I will ever be able to see her as better than me, but I truly want to see him as better than me. When I first met him I did, but the longer I know him, and the longer I see him not bettering himself the more I am losing my respect from him and losing my ability to take his advice on some things. I hate it because I know he understands computers, science, math and a long list of other things better than I do, but the way he is living his life now I don’t know how much longer I can hold my faith and respect for him.

Are you beginning to see why I feel I need therapy?

Talisman